I Am Sorry Pigeons
Well, I hate pigeons. I refer to them as rats in feathery outfits. The way they walk around like they own the shop with their head boppin’ back and forth like they are listening to a Dr. Dre beat really pisses me off. They shit everywhere (appaz their shit is poisonous or something) and they fly over you so low that sometimes their feathers brush up against you. They fly at you as well. I’ve got a balcony which appaz is pigeon central. I watched a pigeon fight the other morning. One pigeon was whacking the living hell out of another one with its wing. It was the best thing I’ve ever seen a pigeon do.
I talked to my friend about pigeons and how I am going to hell because I dropped a pigeon egg (ok, it was two) off my balcony in an attempt to decrease the pigeon population on my balcony. I feel super bad. My friend made me feel worse. She said that pigeons don’t have a natural habitat anymore. By building cities we took away their home and now we get annoyed at them for being in our way. It’s like colonialism between humans and birds. And I don’t agree with it when it concerns humans so I shouldn’t condone it when it involves helpless animals. So I will try to be nicer to them…by not shooing them away I guess and maybe giving them crumbs. And I won’t throw anymore eggs off of tall buildings.