Why Working in a Bar Makes Me Hate People

by brokenrecordbaby

I’ve had the urge to write about this ever since I’ve been bartending full time. You meet a lot of awesome people and have fun times but ohhhh boy are there a lot of fuckwits that bop around bars on a daily basis. This blog post will be one of many…though I really should have started documenting this earlier as my bar career is over in 4 weeks. For the time being anyway.

So, some examples why working in a bar makes me want to never talk to a person ever again.

1) A customer ordered a pint of “Sagy-ass” instead of Sagres. Oh wow.

2) A customer orders a Heineken and a Kronenbourg. I set the two pints down in front of him, point at one of them say “This is the Heineken.” The customer asks “Which one is the Kronenbourg.” (This happens a lot)

3) I was collecting dirty glasses. A dude asks me if I’m looking for him. “Nope, unless you’re a dirty glass.” Next time I walk past him he goes up to me and asks me what I would do to him if he was a dirty glass. “Ummm, wash you?” “What else?” “Smash you?” He loved my aggressiveness and mistakingly took it as flirting.

4) When people forget how to use a PIN machine. Apparently you need a high IQ to work a PDQ.

5) When customers rudely demand a lime in their Corona while I’m still opening the bottle. Calm down, dude. You’ll get piece of complimentary fruit.

6) When customers “powder” their noses but forget to remove the evidence.

7) When a customer repeatedly asks you to leave the bar and dance with him. Oh yeah, I’m just behind the bar for shits and giggles. I’m actually here to get drunk and dance but just thought I’d pop behind the bar for a bit of pretend work.

8 ) When customers basically rape each other right by the bar. My favourite was a guy groping a girl’s bare ass. He lifted her skirt up and everything. Amaze.

9) When people put a sucked off lemon on my tip tray. That’s just rude, dude.

10) When I carry out two plates of heavy food through a dense crowd of people who pretend to pick off food from the plate or ask “Is that for me!?”

I’ve got a weekend of work ahead of me. Expect a post weekend rant of this nature.